Gym

Here I ago again, 'Gym' the word I secretly dread, but have some sort of sick addiction to.

Why on earth would anyone want to go?
Well actually I have a fine set of thighs....for a gladiator, the fat I once had is slowly turning to muscle, it looks brilliant in my skirts...! Yeh right.
But I'm on about the sweaty's, weridos and the perverts.

First of all, I know people sweat, its a gym, but how come every single time I AM THE ONE who ends up on the machine next to them. The sweaties??? Theres nothing more refreshing than another persons sweat landing on you, cools you right down, chills of discust I call them! The smell encourages me to go faster hopeing the machine will move a few inches.

Secondly, why do people come in there fresh from the 80's track suits and look at you strangley? Why do girls come in uggs boots and give you a twisted look when they see your feet working hard in beautiful Nike ait rifts, £75 a pop, no Primark ugg's on me! Why do people think you want to talk to them? When you clearly have ran for 20 minutes on the treadmill and trying to keep the out of breathness under control (bet Jude Law doesnt pant when hes on his Hype park jog!)

And the most annoying and personal to me....Perverts
Did you know my gym ...no names here, has the highest pervert rate among staff, yep its the damn staff!
Why does this one character, not take no for an answear? He comes and talks to you, tells you he's a personal trainer, and then asks you what your doing this weekend!
Many a time I've had to break it again and again "David I've got a boyfriend."
Why did I feel the need to tell him, no one wanted to see 'The Wrestler' with me???
My reply "Arr man you would have come, doesnt matter I went myself, thanks though!"
Why does he feel the need to follow, ahem escort me out of the gym? When everybody even the ladies cleaning the bin think there's something going on between us!
I just want to work out, not be harrassed!
Anyway I made a new friend, out of my sheer expressions of desperation and pain, who still thinks its great, the whole scenario!
"Foreman, I dont want to follow you around the machines talking to you, cos they'll think I'm trying to 'David' you!"

Brilliant Reece there, thinking of a name for that kind of harrassement!
He's going to a party with David, Reece is thinking carrier bags of cans, 'Choons' and shots, but being with David the personal trainer I'm thinking more shots of protein and weight lifting!

*Please note David is not David Rhodes! Nor does David Rhodes posess any of these characteristics!*

Love Lady F x x x

PS

.....Heartbreak!
Just to conclude my hearbreak post and report recent developments....
Dont, ahem that should be DON'T wear red lipstick, while be slighty intoxicated while arguing your not a psycho. You think Independant woman!! They think Heath Ledgers joker!